A hollow in the pit of stomach,
It is getting real, it is getting real!

To the depths from the peak in fraction of seconds,
It is getting worse, it is getting worse!

Tons of friends and loved ones around,
It is getting lonlier, it is getting lonlier!

There are screams inside, words are hard to come by,
It is getting scarier, it is getting scarier!

Hands of help are being extended, wish could grab a finger,
It is drowning, It is drowning!

The Breaking

“It seems like a forced conversation”
“Ohh, i dunno!”

“It feels like you chose her over me”
“Ohh, is it!”

“It’s like all that matters is him”
“Ohh, ofcourse, i love him!”

The walls are breaking down, the strength is seeping away,
The facade of non-chalance is tearing up, the self-esteem is dying,
The mind is cluttered, the heart is in chaos,

The silence is broken.

Self-pity, worthlessness, self-disgust and insanity have become more than just words,
The logical part is crawling the world for a solution,
New resolutions of being strong are made and broken every day,
Efforts have to be made to love oneself.

That’s how the breaking happens,
That’s when your core beliefs are put to test,
That’s the place from where coming back is the most difficult,
That’s the time the brain says, “At the end, it’s only you, I told you so!”


Veintinueve de noviembre de dos mil diecisies,

Aristotle, in Book II of his “Rhetoric“, defines kindness as being “helpfulness towards someone in need, not in return for anything, nor for the advantage of the helper himself, but for that of the person helped”

Though a believer of  Ayn Rand’s philosophy of “No one does anything for anyone else. Every action of each human being is for his/her own benefit, be it materialistic or be it for the inner self.”, a direct contradiction of the above definition, there are times when I have felt kindness from the people around. So, i’ll just modify the definition of kindness (slightly), to “helpfulness towards someone in need, not in return for anything, nor for any materialistic or major advantage of the helper himself, but for that of the person helped.”

Kindness is not just helping the poor, or giving away money. Kindness is being the fittest of the group, but “choosing” to walk with the last person in the line. Kindness is about not making the other person feel helped. Kindness is giving a smile, asking “Are you okay?” to a random person on a public transport who has her eyes moist. Kindness is about not making the other person feel guilty about his/her mistake when you know she is already giving herself a hard time for it.

They say love is the all encompassing, love is the all sufficient, love is the most priced.. But love is also the one that gives the most pain (Though the point of love which gives pain is moot). Kindness, on the other hand, is never painful, kindness is the all-healing.

Be Kind. Be kind to a person who is shouting for no reason, you just don’t know the real reason. Be kind to a person who is unconventionally silent, there is a hurricane going on inside. Be kind to the one who has lost a dear one, there is absolutely nothing else that can relieve the pain. Be kind to the person who displays immense strength, there is a mountain of struggles s/he is trying to overcome on his/her own. Be kind, for you don’t know when your little act of kindness can be the last strand of strength they are hanging on!

To the people, who have showed kindness during the not so good times. Wish I could be as kind someday. 


Veinte de mayo de dos mil dieciseis

There are so many things we take in life for granted. And there are equal no of times when we are being taken for granted. We are at a greater sin when we allow ourselves to be taken for granted. Be it a mother being taken for granted by her child, be it a brother being taken for granted by his sister or be it a friend whose behaviour changes like the ever changing weather of the desert, every single time, it is our moral duty to ourselves, to not allow others to take us for granted.

One may ask, how do we do that? How do we control other peoples’ behaviour towards us? I’d say that not everyone is important enough to even bother considering/thinking about their behaviour, but those close to us – them who have the power to affect us about whom we should be concerned.

Now, if they belong to the category of close friends, most of the times it would be you who considers the other person as a close/good friend and the feelings might not be reciprocated which is the only explanation which would make them take you for granted. The simple solution here is to start maintaining your distance, by not giving so much importance to them in your life, by not going that extra mile every single time. They may realize your importance or they might not, it shouldn’t matter either ways because the goal was to not make them realize your importance but to stop getting a vestigial organ type treatment.

But, The tricky part is when it is family, when it is your own child who takes you for granted, when for him/her the rest of the world, his friends, his girlfriend, take a higher priority than you. Here, you cannot just not care, at the end of the day, it is family, your own blood. For this sadly, I cannot think of any way, other than to just be patient and explain every single time they do it, that when no one will be there, there will still be family! 🙂 And just hope that they realize it before it is too late!

Travel diaries

Diwali was just over. It was bhai duj today. The train was standing at the jamnagar station. There was a couple with me in the compartment. A boy comes along selling ghugra.
Man – Ketla na?
Boy – 20 na 4
Man – Aapi de
Not having eaten ghugra since a long time, though i had my stomach full with home food,
Me – 10 na aap ne
Boy -10 na nathi vechto. 20 na lai lyo
Me – Khavase nai. Chalse, nathi jota
The boy leaves. The lady takes 2 ghugra  in a plate and,
Lady – Lyo khaav
Me – Na na jami ne j aavi chu.. khali chakhva ta
Man – (in gujarati accent)Main nahi khaunga waise bhi, aap le lo
(It seems 10 5 years out of state has given me a non gujarati look. Everyone who does not know me starts the conversation with me in hindi *sigh*)
Me – Adadhu j aapo. (I continue in gujarati)
Lady – Na na adadha ma shu thai aakhu lyo..
Forces me to eat one completely. Kindness by strangers! I remember my parents doing the same for other strangers while travelling when i was a kid. They did not ask me my cast, religion etc before showing the kindness. And people say there is intolerance. All i can see and feel is love!

Rebuilding Nepal, one smile at a time: A photo essay

When Nature takes over and you can just watch!

Soliloquies of a wanderer

I had the fortune of seeing Nepal in October last year, in its full glory, while attending a climate change conference as the only Indian journalist there. When a deadly earthquake struck the affectionate country on April 25 this year and shattered its homes and heritage, their smiles haunted me. I knew i had to go back to see for myself what had become of the places that had welcomed me so warmly. I had to bring their stories to the world. A month after the quake, I got an opportunity to cover rehabilitation efforts in Kathmandu.

Although i wasn’t scheduled to, i hopped on a relief truck convoy (of Live to Love Foundation), with some kung-fu nuns of the Druk Amitabha Mountain Nunnery, headed to reportedly the worst-hit areas in the mountains, Sindhupal Chowk district. It was worse than i had expected or remembered from my time in Kutch during 2001. Whole…

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Shantaram, Quotes

But the magnificient and terrible truth about honour- the thing that makes it ,like love and freedom, the glory of our species and the thing of our sagas – is that once it’s lost, it can never be retried

Your heart starts to feel like in over crowded Lifeboat you throw your Pride out to keep it afloat, and your self respect and your Independence after a while you start throwing people out your friends everyone you used to know and it still not enough the lifeboat is still sinking and you know it’s going to take you down with it I’ve seen that happen to a lot of girls here. I think that’s why I am sick of love.

The truth is a Bully we all pretend to like

Prison wasn’t hell but there was no heaven in it either. in its own way that was just as bad

Civilization, after all, is Defined by what we forbid, more than what we permit.

The only force more ruthless and cynical than the business of big politics is the politics of big business.

And I had learnt, the hard way, that sometimes, even with the purest intentions, we make things worse when we do our best to make things better

You can’t kill love you can’t even kill it with hate. you can kill in-love, and loving, and even loveliness. you can kill them all, or numb them into dense, leaden regret, but you can’t kill love itself. Love is the passionate search for a truth other than your own; and once you feel it, honestly and completely, love is forever. every act of love, every moment of the heart reaching out, is a part of the universal good: it’s a part of God, or what we call God, and it can never die.

Love’s a One Way Street. love, like respect, isn’t something you get; it is something you give

I know now that when the loving, honest moment comes it should be seized, and spoken, because it may never come again. and unvoiced, unmoving, unlived in the things we declare from heart to heart, those true and real feelings with her and crumble in the remembering hand that tries too late to reach for them

There is no man, and no place, without war. the only thing we can do is choose a side, and fight. that is the only choice we get- who we fight for, who we fight against. That is life!

Luck is what happens to you when fate gets tired of waiting

It is always a Fool’s mistake to be alone with someone you shouldn’t have loved